just now

I haven't written in ages. I feel there is too much to even begin a re-cap with, so I'll let it go.

But I've decided just now (and by that I mean that this has become a priority, rather than a dream) that I'm going to go to England. As soon as possible.

The wisdom of Skins.

oh what a tangled web.

I feel like I make poor choices every day. But some days, I make extremely poor choices.

Oh the inner conflict.

I hate choosing between two things I feel passionate about. Whether it be people, activities, future plans, my word...I always seem to make the decision I end up regretting.

I give it up to the Lord.

things i've learned recently

1. to sing from my diaphragm
2. the plot of lord of the rings
3. how to salsa poorly
4. how to rumba poorly
5. how to swing dance relatively well
6. how to run a mile
7. how to play bumper pool
8. to return library books on time
9. to respect deadlines
10. there is a correct way to mop

more simple pleasures.

1. cold grapes in my cereal
2. the feeling after a workout that you've not only accomplished something, but accomplished something worthwhile
3. the feeling when your alarm goes off, but you can stay in bed for another hour
4. when your cat jumps up on your lap and licks your arm
5. having sap on your hands, removing it, and then not feeling sticky anymore
6. showering while being home alone, thus being able to sing as loud as you wish
7. knowing all the ice cream is gone, so even if you crave it, you can't have any. insta-diet
8. finding ovaltine at your neighbor's house and drinking it
9. when the air feels neither hot nor cold on my skin, but still fresh in my lungs
10. going to your best friend's house to do art

Beautiful

Kate Walsh- Your Song

For some reason this song just rings so true in my heart. It's so simple and yet I understand it so perfectly.

Watch and Listen

Haven't you heard?
I'm stuck on a face
I'm stuck on a boy who feels me with joy
I knew I was wrong to
jump straight on into the picture so pretty
But he is so pretty to me

And he doesn't know just how far I would go
Just to kiss him
He doesn't doesn't know I pine

So I make whirlpools
And watch him sparkle
And we'll make love make magic

And haven't you heard?
I thought I had first
And he loves me so
We're two in a row
Just look in his eyes
They're blue as the skies
are picture so pretty
but he is so pretty to me

So I make whirlpools
And watch him sparkle
And we'll make love make magic

But I couldn't tell you
Just tell that it takes you
'Cause words don't make
what I make with you

Haven't you heard?
I'm stuck on a face
I'm stuck on a boy who fills me with joy
I knew I was wrong
to jump straight on into this picture so pretty
but he is so pretty to me

tumblr

mine.

some of the photos are my own...some are not.

all are rather pretty.

Simple Pleasures

1. Sneezing
2. Brushing your teeth in the shower
3. Receiving a text that says "i miss you"
4. Wearing leggings, a tank top, and sweater boots
5. Having the house to yourself, taking a shower, then dancing
6. Having a cat come and sit in your lap
7. Waking up with no where important to go right away
8. Tealights
9. Eating cheezits and drinking icy water
10. Not having chapped lips

Fresh air.

A newly fallen snow really does make everything feel ok.

Changes and revamps.

I've decided to give my blog a bit of a makeover, as I've also simultaneously decided to start blogging again. Not so much about my life, but about life in general....maybe. I'm not sure exactly. We will see where the wind takes me.

On that note, I've had some Ecclesiastes running through my mind lately along with the "Chasing the Wind" by This Providence.

Ecclesiates 1:16-18

I thought to myself, "Look, I have grown and increased in wisdom more than anyone who has ruled over Jerusalem before me; I have experienced much of wisdom and knowledge." ¹⁷ Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind.

For with much wisdom comes much sorrow;
the more knowledge, the more grief.

This all seems to me to be quite similar to "Ignorance is bliss." And sometimes that is true. There are so many things in life that I wish I didn't have to know, but to be honest, though they cause me grief, they contribute to my overall self. I don't like knowing about all the poverty, perverseness and sadness that exists around me and around the world, but if I didn't, I think my actions would hold less meaning sometimes. But at the same time, we need to know that it's not humanly possibly to know everything, all that God knows. And sometimes the pursuit of knowledge can get in the way of what really matters, so if this pursuit impedes that, it is all for naught.

So as I've just finished my first semester at colleges, I've tried to keep this in mind. Yes, my classes are important, and my grades, but sometimes the most valuable aspects of the college experience come from outside the classroom. Conversations, mistakes, sights, relations...these things teach just as much as a professor. And I try not to forget that.

....Only I think I've been remembering that TOO much on occasion and have been struggling to find that balance between studies and sociality. And sleep.

All I can say is that I have quite a journey ahead of me these next four years.

"Nothing matters, I'm just chasing the wind. If I can't have you darlin'"