just now

I haven't written in ages. I feel there is too much to even begin a re-cap with, so I'll let it go.

But I've decided just now (and by that I mean that this has become a priority, rather than a dream) that I'm going to go to England. As soon as possible.

The wisdom of Skins.

oh what a tangled web.

I feel like I make poor choices every day. But some days, I make extremely poor choices.

Oh the inner conflict.

I hate choosing between two things I feel passionate about. Whether it be people, activities, future plans, my word...I always seem to make the decision I end up regretting.

I give it up to the Lord.

things i've learned recently

1. to sing from my diaphragm
2. the plot of lord of the rings
3. how to salsa poorly
4. how to rumba poorly
5. how to swing dance relatively well
6. how to run a mile
7. how to play bumper pool
8. to return library books on time
9. to respect deadlines
10. there is a correct way to mop

more simple pleasures.

1. cold grapes in my cereal
2. the feeling after a workout that you've not only accomplished something, but accomplished something worthwhile
3. the feeling when your alarm goes off, but you can stay in bed for another hour
4. when your cat jumps up on your lap and licks your arm
5. having sap on your hands, removing it, and then not feeling sticky anymore
6. showering while being home alone, thus being able to sing as loud as you wish
7. knowing all the ice cream is gone, so even if you crave it, you can't have any. insta-diet
8. finding ovaltine at your neighbor's house and drinking it
9. when the air feels neither hot nor cold on my skin, but still fresh in my lungs
10. going to your best friend's house to do art

Beautiful

Kate Walsh- Your Song

For some reason this song just rings so true in my heart. It's so simple and yet I understand it so perfectly.

Watch and Listen

Haven't you heard?
I'm stuck on a face
I'm stuck on a boy who feels me with joy
I knew I was wrong to
jump straight on into the picture so pretty
But he is so pretty to me

And he doesn't know just how far I would go
Just to kiss him
He doesn't doesn't know I pine

So I make whirlpools
And watch him sparkle
And we'll make love make magic

And haven't you heard?
I thought I had first
And he loves me so
We're two in a row
Just look in his eyes
They're blue as the skies
are picture so pretty
but he is so pretty to me

So I make whirlpools
And watch him sparkle
And we'll make love make magic

But I couldn't tell you
Just tell that it takes you
'Cause words don't make
what I make with you

Haven't you heard?
I'm stuck on a face
I'm stuck on a boy who fills me with joy
I knew I was wrong
to jump straight on into this picture so pretty
but he is so pretty to me

tumblr

mine.

some of the photos are my own...some are not.

all are rather pretty.

Simple Pleasures

1. Sneezing
2. Brushing your teeth in the shower
3. Receiving a text that says "i miss you"
4. Wearing leggings, a tank top, and sweater boots
5. Having the house to yourself, taking a shower, then dancing
6. Having a cat come and sit in your lap
7. Waking up with no where important to go right away
8. Tealights
9. Eating cheezits and drinking icy water
10. Not having chapped lips

Fresh air.

A newly fallen snow really does make everything feel ok.

Changes and revamps.

I've decided to give my blog a bit of a makeover, as I've also simultaneously decided to start blogging again. Not so much about my life, but about life in general....maybe. I'm not sure exactly. We will see where the wind takes me.

On that note, I've had some Ecclesiastes running through my mind lately along with the "Chasing the Wind" by This Providence.

Ecclesiates 1:16-18

I thought to myself, "Look, I have grown and increased in wisdom more than anyone who has ruled over Jerusalem before me; I have experienced much of wisdom and knowledge." ¹⁷ Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind.

For with much wisdom comes much sorrow;
the more knowledge, the more grief.

This all seems to me to be quite similar to "Ignorance is bliss." And sometimes that is true. There are so many things in life that I wish I didn't have to know, but to be honest, though they cause me grief, they contribute to my overall self. I don't like knowing about all the poverty, perverseness and sadness that exists around me and around the world, but if I didn't, I think my actions would hold less meaning sometimes. But at the same time, we need to know that it's not humanly possibly to know everything, all that God knows. And sometimes the pursuit of knowledge can get in the way of what really matters, so if this pursuit impedes that, it is all for naught.

So as I've just finished my first semester at colleges, I've tried to keep this in mind. Yes, my classes are important, and my grades, but sometimes the most valuable aspects of the college experience come from outside the classroom. Conversations, mistakes, sights, relations...these things teach just as much as a professor. And I try not to forget that.

....Only I think I've been remembering that TOO much on occasion and have been struggling to find that balance between studies and sociality. And sleep.

All I can say is that I have quite a journey ahead of me these next four years.

"Nothing matters, I'm just chasing the wind. If I can't have you darlin'"

Gordon

So I'm at college now.

And I adore it.

So much.

We make lots of macaroni and cheese (which I can't eat anymore...I'm a vegan :( )

And ride around till 3 in the morning,

and be ridiculous.

And everyone is so nice.

My brain hurts because:

1. I'm listening to "Stacy's Mom"

2. M headphones are kinda tight (as in cool, and snug. Oh puns)

3. I've been studying for my Old Testament test, and I'm afraid.

...

So I apologize for the lack of coherent thought in this post.

I feel like I apologize for something each time I post.

So sorry for that....

;)

Ugh. 

Not in the mood to write, but I've been writing thank you notes from my graduation party for ages and I had a migraine this morning so we couldn't go into Boston and visit the Tall Ships and I couldn't meet a dashing young sailor who falls in love with me and offers to let me sail around the world with him on his magnificent ship and have the time of my life and fall in love with him and the ocean and dock on a little island and build a cute house and live by the sea and be lovely. 

So yeah...I need a break to vent. 

I wish life could be like Titanic...only Leo lives, and no one dies. 

Is that too much to ask?

Great

I have been babysitting my neighbor's three boys on Monday and Tuesday from 7 in the morning until 5 at night. 

20 hours is a long time. 

As I left on Tuesday, I yelled a goodbye and started walking down the drive way. As I reached the bottom, I hear one of the boys yell enthusiastically across the yard to me:

"And don't forget Michela, you're hot!"

...

...

...

great. 

He's in second grade. 

In better news, I'm going away for the 4th of July as always, and I'm happy because it's my favorite time of the year. 

:)

I'm sad

Sorry again for not posting, we had my grad party on Saturday, and we had over 80 people, so needless to say, lots of planning, cleaning, setting up and more cleaning. 

Anyways. 

Today is Monday, and I'm babsitting my neighbor's three boys from 7 in the morning till 4:30 in the afternoon. It's been a long day, and tomorrow is the same deal. But thats ok...I need the money, and they're not too bad. 

But thats not why I'm sad. I'm sad because I feel responsible for the death of an innocent chipmunk. And I feel awful. 

The neighbor's have these two cats, and they are supposed to be indoor cats, but they're been going out lately, and now meow like there's no tomorrow until they are let out. So one escaped on his own, and the other I let out because I couldn't take the meowing. 

Then later we are all playing outside and I see the cats chasing this poor chipmunk. They don't even catch them and eat them, they just play with them until the little munk dies. So i try shooing away the cats, and I try to pick up the chipmunk and move him. The poor thing was trembling and half its tail was gone, and I felt so bad. 

But then it jumped and the cats chased it into some poison ivy, so I couldn't follow. Then one of them comes trotting triumphantly back with the chipmunk in his mouth. Then he continues to bat it around. It was all I could do to keep playing ball with the kids and not let my heart break all over the grass for that tiny chipmunk. If I had only snatched the chipmunk up sooner, or not let the cats get out at all, it would still be alive. I feel horrible. It was so tiny and cute, and its little eyes were so scared. I miss him :(

I'm sorry chipmunk.

lo siento

I feel like crap today, and am stressed out. I'll go into it more tomorrow probably, but here's a picture to make it up to you. 

Soz

Sorry I haven't made a list in a few days. 

I'll try to make this one nice and humorous then. 

1. Right now, the acoustic version of "Everytime We Touch" is playing. "LOL"
2. Remember when I said I was reading "A Tale of Two Cities"? Haha, well, I was actually reading "Great Expectations." You may think I'm making some high-level Dickens pun, but in reality, I just never bothered to look at the cover, which would explain why the story seemed different than what I remembered about it. Another "LOL" for Mik. 
3. I made more banana bread. 
4. Today while doing my driving lessons (don't laugh, I hate driving, so I never bothered to learn and get my license...but I sorta need it now as I'm going to college) my driving instructor starts reminiscing about when her and her friends would smoke pot, and one boy specifically would "jump off cliffs and stuff, thinking he could fly! His name was Malakai. It was so funny." I don't know if this woman should be teaching me anything. She also speaks in "we" form. I don't even know what literary person to classify that in. I suppose the extended form of second person? Oh, and she sings really off key to "My Life Would Suck Without You," claiming it to be "her girly song" and that she had never heard of Kelly Clarkson before that some came out. And to top it all off, she yells at me for speeding home. I think I am justified in that. 
5. Sorry that was long. To make it up to you,  I'll show you kids singing Lady Gaga.
6. My grad party is a week away, and just the other day found out that my grandmother, whom I haven't seen in a few years, is coming down from NY for my party. Let the cleaning commence. 
7. Here's a link to my Flickr account so you can see the pictures I've taken lately. 
8. You should read all of John Green's books. They are amazing. Like, legit. They are all similar, but drastically different as well. The first one I read was "An Abundance Of Katherines" and I must say, for a girl who hates math, I found it highly entertaining. Read Them. 

TALKMORESOONKTHNXBAI

Ugh.

1. I recall now, after waking up to do driving hours at 7:30 in the morning, why I don't have my license: because I hate driving. When I marry Rafa Nadal, I'll just hire a chauffeur.
2. I need to read more of the books I got from the library. I started both The Road by Cormac McCarthy, and A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. And now I don't know which one to finish first. 
3. I got quite a few Dickens books at the library, actually. As I'm graduated now, I feel like I should have read at least one of his books, and I haven't. Well, I read a Christmas Carol, but thats really short. Why don't we read his stuff in school? All we did was watch the movie...legit. 
4. I'm really tired. I watched "The New World" last night, because it has Colin Farrell AND Christian Bale in it. And...ok, it was a very artistically well-done movie, but it was 3 hours long, and barely any dialogue. The girl who played Pocahontas  was really pretty though. (she seemed a little young however to be gallivanting about with older men..hmm)
5. I need to go to the library and pick up some movies. 

List 2

1. I just made banana bread, sans eggs (because we have none) and sans butter (because since the heart attack, my dad doesn't like to eat lots of fattening foods. It's cooling, but I think it's come out nicely

2. Speaking of my dad, he's painting the hallway right now. It looks dangerous.  

3. I'm cleaning the sunporch to be nice, only I've discovered Swiffers are not all that effective for cleaning up cat fur. 

4. That banana bread smells really good, but it's still hot and I can't eat it yet. :(

5. I think I'm going to read some Charles Dickins tonight, and then watch "The New World" form iTunes. It looks good, like live action Pocahontis, and not exaggerated, but real. And also what happens when they take her to England. PLUS Christian Bale is in it, so....exactly. 

Meredith Inspired me.

She said she liked making lists, and that is something I am very happy with. 

Because I generally type in list form anyways. 

So I might as well number the lines, right?

I'm thinking that I'll try to make a list each day. 

Of at least 5 things, just random things. Whatever I'm thinking. (Which could get strange...)

Here we go:

1. It is currently 1:28 on an early Sunday morning. 
2. I have to teach Sunday school to a large group of 6-10 year olds in 9 hours. 
3. My cat is asleep next to me, and I wish I could take her up to sleep on my bed in a minute, but she can't go in my room, because people sent me flowers for graduation, and my cat eats them and gets sick :(
4. I seriously love photography. Here's the flickr account I just made to put up some pictures I took the other day.  SLIDESHOW!
5. This summer was supposed to me the best summer ever. And it's not, nor is it going to be anymore :(
6. I didn't want to end on a sad note, so I'm going to listen to Demetri Martin and go to bed. 

NITE X